I love salad. Not everyone does- I understand that. However, I feel that if a restaurant chooses to offer salads on their menu, the creator should at least understand salad. Poor mixed greens are tired of being dressed in bullshit and embarrassed. Therefore, I am going to rant on a public salad “ beef,” that I have had for some time. Unfortunately it seems like many restaurants simply regard salad as the redheaded stepchild, kid-brother, annoying neighbor, mother-in-law or some other obligation to which they mindlessly address with a default response. The careless default salad response- greens, nuts, cheese, fruit, and tad-a! In the words of Drake,” Oh you fancy huh?”
The problem is not the concept of this classic salad combination, but rather the misunderstanding, misuse and overuse of it. The nuts, fruit cheese ensemble can be wonderful. The right cheese, with the right fruit, with the right nuts can really flatter fresh greens when tossed in a nice vinaigrette. A salad like this, that celebrates each ingredient, with a good glass of wine, is simple, but special. However this outfit is not for every salad.
Too often the salad list at a supposedly decent restaurant consists of five to six mediocre flavor profiles, “fancified,” with nuts, fruit and cheese. The nuts, fruit, cheese trifecta is applied whether it works or not. Salad is not a box mix with simple instructions of, “ just add fruit, nuts and cheese. My breaking point was a local restaurant’s recent salad special:
Chile lime grilled shrimp
Ok, sounds great,
fresh spinach with an Asian style citrus vinaigrette,
Perfect- light and bright Asian flavors- exactly what I’m in the mood for,
topped with blue cheese crumbles, fresh strawberries and walnuts.
Eh fork…
Hey forkers, this is not forking special! So, please don’t call it special. Light, bright, spicy Asian Style flavors could be living and thriving but someone had to go and dump the trifecta on them. These flavors don’t compliment one another – they offend one another. The worst part is that the second salad “special,” was also accessorized with blue cheese crumbles, fresh strawberries and walnuts. I am offended, and so is salad and I can only imagine how forking blue cheese feels! Greens are something to be celebrated. So, please celebrate them. If one feels the need to apply the trifecta, please apply it with care.
When I gripe about tired salads to fellow eaters I often get a weak defensive argument salad may not be a particular restaurant’s “high point.” This defense never satisfies me. Salads are a food. People who love food also love salads not just dieters and girls on dates. That’s fine if a chef can’t appreciate the qualities of fresh greens, but if that is the case don’t put them on the menu. We need some real “motherforkers, “ in this society to stand up for salad and not make a fool of it.
Ovenhappy 